I once went to a wedding in another city. A big, traditional, Italian family wedding.  I arrived a day early and rode along with a friend of mine (also there for the wedding, also newly engaged to one of the traditional family, and also not the world’s sharpest dresser) when he went into a local men’s clothing store to buy a new tie for the wedding. He came out with the new tie…and a very crisp suit…and a belt… a couple of GREAT looking shirts and…. a breathtaking pair of Italian shoes. When I asked him why, he said, “Well, I’m taking (my new fiancé) to this wedding and I want to look sharp.”

Turns out that, when the clothing store salesman found out that THIS wedding was my friend’s grand entrance to meet his fiancé’s family, he started to ask questions like, “Tell me about your fiancé’s family. What does she like? What do they like? What sort of impression do you want to make on this family? How do you think they’ll react if you look like this (shows an example) or like THIS (shows a much sharper example)? How will your fiancé react?”

A great value to my friend and his fiancé, never mind the rest of us at the wedding.

He could have sold my friend the tie and, perhaps, a shirt to go with it and my friend would have been happy. However, the sales person wasn’t a “tie guy,” or a “suit guy,” or a “shoes guy.” The guy knew how to dress men, taking into account what the men he dressed aspired to and what they could tolerate.

The big aspiration THAT weekend was: “Assure his fiancé’s family that he would be the right prospective husband for their daughter, the person they care most about in the world.”  We’re talking more than ties here.

So, when he left the store, if clothes make the man, my friend was made. [Ah, well, regrettably, the sales person missed the opportunity to send him to a class on table manners, speaking of the big picture! There’s only so much that a pair of Italian shoes can cover up.]

Nick Miller is President of Clarity Advantage based in Concord, MA. He assists banks and credit unions to generate more and more profitable relationships, faster, with business clients, their owners, and their employees through better sales strategies and execution. Additional articles on Clarity’s web site.